Psychic Lavender Soap

Psychic Lavender Soap

Warning: This Soap May or May Not Grant You Psychic Powers 🧠✨

Do you feel like there’s something missing? Something intangible, like the ability to read your dog’s thoughts—or better yet, to astral project to the bar where you’re pretty sure no one’s ever liked you anyway? Maybe you just need an excuse to feel like you’re not completely wasting your life. We get it. You’re not alone.

Well, whether this soap makes you psychic or not is a bit like asking whether that random thought you had about the universe having a point actually means anything. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. But the Psychic Lavender Soap will at least help you wash away the doubt. Or add to it. Who’s to say?

This soap doesn’t promise anything grand. It’s just soap. But maybe it’ll make you feel like there’s something bigger at play. Or, maybe it’ll just make your skin softer.

Key Features:

• Soothing for Sensitive Skin (and Your Soul): Crafted for the delicate, complicated, or mildly neurotic skin types, our soap might grant you a fleeting sense of calm. Or it could whisper to you about the cosmic futility of existence. Either way, your skin will feel nourished and soft, leaving you ready for… whatever.

• Lavender Essence That May Let You Read Minds (or Not): Infused with pure lavender essential oil and natural lavender buds, this soap’s calming aroma will relax your mind and maybe open doors you didn’t know were there. If you listen closely, you might hear your dog thinking about treats. Or maybe you’ll hear nothing at all. Either way, it’s probably just the soap. Probably.

• Rich Moisturization & Possible Astral Projection: With a blend of saponified organic oils—extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, shea butter—this soap leaves your skin deeply hydrated. It may also cause you to drift above your body, pondering why you went to that bar last weekend where, let’s face it, you were probably unwanted. But maybe your astral self was just... doing its thing.

• Ethically Sourced, Existentially Questionable: Proudly crafted in the USA with fair trade, sustainable ingredients, this soap offers both skin care and the faintest hope that something might make sense, if only for a moment. Whether the universe is guiding you, or it’s just a random fluke, the soap is here for whatever comes next—or doesn’t.

Is it the soap that’s magical? Or are you just stuck in a loop of overthinking and overcompensating for the crushing weight of not knowing what the hell any of it means? You’ll find out. Or you won’t. Either way, the soap is still here. And you are too.

Possible Side Effects:

• A sudden desire to astral project to the bar where no one remembers your name, and you’re probably better off anyway.
• An inexplicable urge to understand why your dog is staring at you like it’s waiting for you to have a breakthrough—or maybe just a snack.
• A quiet realization that the plants in your home might actually know more about the meaning of life than you do.
• Uncontrollable urges to wear a cape and start calling yourself “The Lavender Oracle,” because it sounds cool and maybe gives you an edge.
• A creeping sense of existential dread as you look at your bank account, wondering if any of this is even worth it, but feeling oddly comforted by the soap.
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Ingredients: Saponified Oils (Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Organic Palm Oil**, Organic Coconut Oil*, Organic Shea Butter*), Lavender Essential Oil, Lavender Buds

**Fair Trade Sustainable

*Fair Trade

Manufacturer's country: USA

Product amount: 4 oz/113g

Gross weight: 4.2oz/113g

Suggested use: Add warm water for a thick lather. Keep dry between uses for extended longevity.

Warning: In case of accidental contact with eyes, immediately rinse thoroughly with clean water. If irritation occurs, discontinue use.